God is following me. So I began to reread Charles Ludlum's play, and I hear the television in the other room. I turned up the television, and the director of the Bourne identity was talking about his work as a director. I remember, when I was looking Charles Ludlum's book, the man by the name of Robert Ludlum had written the Bourne identity. I found this really interesting, because just today I had met Brandon McPherson, and he had told me that he was on his way to SCAD till learned film directing.
I don't exactly know what this means. I do know that I'm excited about it, I mean the experience. And I know that God is definitely up to something. I don't know if I exactly want to go into directing, but I do know that I would like to be a writer of some kind. I've written portions of a play, and portions of a graphic novel.
I'm proud of myself for working try to get my thoughts down with Dragon. I need to keep trying, even though this isn't exactly what I want to say. I had a 20 minute dialogue with myself before finally deciding I should probably come in here and talk.
Oh well, what the hell. I really can do this but I have all the potential in the world to be able to be when I need to be what I want to be. When I'm supposed to be all that. And in the end I'll still be a good role model good example for Christ figure person. It's just a lot of pressure, honestly, this expectation. This wandering this insecurity. I really don't have to own this that this doesn't have to belong to me. Someone get over it. I distinctly my best. I have thousands of ideas and interesting to act on the and work steadily towards stabilizing myself. Schoolwork personal-care and then the designers and things that I need to do.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Monday, December 14, 2009
We Talked for a While, and I Don't Think We Made Much Progress. Hell of a Talk Though.
Dear Holey and Company,
You'll excuse the overly formal first post. This will all become more laid back, like it should be. But that will have to come later. Holey, I have to admit, I've been thinking about you more recently. I've remembered you more in recent weeks, and more before, if you remember, because of my accident. Well, I've never been more sorry. I think the more that I have to remember you, the more you have to be bothered. So, I'm writing you a blog. You and everyone else I remembered from my stay in Gratitude are and will be privileged to view it. Please then, be sure to tell them all that this is here, whenever you get around to telling them this is here...and when you get around to reading it.
Well, Holey, I'm above ground again. I have a new girlfriend, and it's one you never heard of or expected me to have had. She's pretty, and smart, and creative...you would like her if you met her. She got me to get over Nickel, until she accidentally brought him home tonight. I was catatonic for nearly an hour, and Holey -God Saved Me- I was so angry.
I have to be honest with you again. I really don't know what your intentions are anymore. You used to be a really inspiring piece to me. I thought to myself, "Would I dedicate my life, to your cause?" and then I thought, "How cruel and cliche' that would be to you." (I know, it was ironic that I played nothing but shooter games after you took the boat back to Gratitude). But what about you? You were awfully cliche' to send me your scrap book. After I read it, Nickel had a field day. He actually started coming around, too. And that just about sent me six feet again.
Ok, this really isn't fair to you. But really, its not fair to me. I don't know, so lets just move on. You can go back to watching the sun shine, and I'll go back to watching Smooth Criminal. At least, I'll be able to imitate something on this side of the river, you can go on being perfect in your perfect world. Just remember, nothing ever changes if you never know to change and then, I'll be dead. But until then, I'm sending you posts. So cut the crap with all the new pictures I keep mysteriously finding in that scrapbook. I already know how happy you are. I could use some consilation myself.
So, where am I?
Oh well, now I'm publishing this small stepping stone, so i can step onto the next step. No use dawdling.
-Jackrich
You'll excuse the overly formal first post. This will all become more laid back, like it should be. But that will have to come later. Holey, I have to admit, I've been thinking about you more recently. I've remembered you more in recent weeks, and more before, if you remember, because of my accident. Well, I've never been more sorry. I think the more that I have to remember you, the more you have to be bothered. So, I'm writing you a blog. You and everyone else I remembered from my stay in Gratitude are and will be privileged to view it. Please then, be sure to tell them all that this is here, whenever you get around to telling them this is here...and when you get around to reading it.
Well, Holey, I'm above ground again. I have a new girlfriend, and it's one you never heard of or expected me to have had. She's pretty, and smart, and creative...you would like her if you met her. She got me to get over Nickel, until she accidentally brought him home tonight. I was catatonic for nearly an hour, and Holey -God Saved Me- I was so angry.
I have to be honest with you again. I really don't know what your intentions are anymore. You used to be a really inspiring piece to me. I thought to myself, "Would I dedicate my life, to your cause?" and then I thought, "How cruel and cliche' that would be to you." (I know, it was ironic that I played nothing but shooter games after you took the boat back to Gratitude). But what about you? You were awfully cliche' to send me your scrap book. After I read it, Nickel had a field day. He actually started coming around, too. And that just about sent me six feet again.
Ok, this really isn't fair to you. But really, its not fair to me. I don't know, so lets just move on. You can go back to watching the sun shine, and I'll go back to watching Smooth Criminal. At least, I'll be able to imitate something on this side of the river, you can go on being perfect in your perfect world. Just remember, nothing ever changes if you never know to change and then, I'll be dead. But until then, I'm sending you posts. So cut the crap with all the new pictures I keep mysteriously finding in that scrapbook. I already know how happy you are. I could use some consilation myself.
So, where am I?
Oh well, now I'm publishing this small stepping stone, so i can step onto the next step. No use dawdling.
-Jackrich
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